April 1, 2014

Trying to remember:

Don’t let the mundane numb your life.

We’re all guilty of letting it happen.

Getting annoyed with the day-to-day. Snapping at your spouse/partner/child/dog over nothing at all. Feeling like you’re slogging through the motions, barely hanging on. Not seeing the beauty, joy and blessings all around.

It’s a grind. All of it, all the time. Wash, rinse, repeat. And when things get hard? Forget it. Add the stress of worry and the feeling of living in a pressure cooker, and then your walls are closing in. Doesn’t matter if you’re the mama, the dad, staying at home, going to work, any combination of the above. We get sucked into the dull, the monotony, the tunnel vision, the bad news.

For this, we have each other. That crazy whistle when your husband sees you walk into the room? (Nevermind that you’re at the highest level of frump-dom.) The so-cute-my-heart-might-explode giggle of joy from your baby when you come home from your work day. An old friend just knowing when and how to reach out to let you lean and let go. That smile, or unexpected act of kindness – right when you need it most. That’s all of us taking care of each other.

It doesn’t just take a village to raise a babe, it takes a village for us ALL. We get in the most trouble when we try to go it alone, be an island, refuse help. In my case, I decide that I’m not going to let anyone in or see me less than perfect… then I’ll have this big “reveal” when everything is  in order. The big joke? Nothing is EVER in order. Nothing is ever PERFECT. And the people who love me love the REAL me, not the fabricated image I have in my mind.

So for the first time, I’m allowing myself the gift of grace. Cutting myself some slack. When I fail, or stumble, or fall, I’m not immediately jumping on the “hate Alex” bandwagon. A few years ago, if I got derailed by lack of focus, or distraction, or whatever… I’d yell at myself (in my mind, don’t worry) and immediately determine that I couldn’t do it. Shouldn’t do it. Wasn’t worth it. Then BAM. Have another helping of frustration and self-loathing. Ugh.

I have James to thank for this. I’m always going to be my absolute toughest critic – never letting up on myself. But when I think about my sweet little boy… am I going to cut him off when he stumbles, fails, falls? No way. He gets all the chances he wants to perfect his technique, so try something new, to take risks.


Why can’t I have the same? Turns out, I can.

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