Thankful / Be the change

Today's been challenging.

Alan and I got caught in the middle of a bureaucratic mess. One place was supposed to fax paperwork to the other. When we called to check on progress, they told us "we never got the fax". Of course, there's a deadline involved. So now we're scrambling last minute, trying to get things submitted in time. Add a heaping amount of terrible customer service and zero accurate expectations set… and Alan ended up furious and having to stay late at work, and I cried at my manager.

Ugh.

Sometimes it feels so much like the world sucks. It's too much. People are jerks.

I reached out to ask for help today - just to see if any friends could share some positive or uplifting comments or encouragement. It's so wonderful to hear the great things loved ones can send your way. Thank you.

I also tried an experiment. I took a few minutes to specifically focus on gratitude. What am I grateful for - seriously?

No snide, undercutting remarks. No sideways comments that were actually-bitchy-disguised-as-grateful. An intentional, mindful exercise.

I put pen to paper and started writing. Started with the way-big picture stuff, and started to trickle down into smaller things that I might not have even vocalized.

And it worked.

I felt re-centered, and back in touch with the things that matter most. There is so much to be thankful for. And while the bureaucracy and frustration is real and awful and kind of hurts my feelings… it's one very small piece in the puzzle. Attitude and mindset are so incredibly powerful. Sure, sometimes that seems hokey and I just WANT to be angry and pissed off and just be a grump. I make sure to honor that every once in awhile, because who can be zen and mindful and positive all the time? ;) But today's exercise was an incredible reminder of how I can "be the change" I want to see in the world. That I can bring myself back from "everything happening to/at me" to focusing on what I can control.


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