What this morning has been like:
Wake up at 5AM to feed the baby. Lay him down in the crib next to my side of the bed where he coughs hard enough to spit up all over himself . Pull him next to me on his side and go back to sleep.
Wake up at 715 and slide out of bed – leaving the baby to sleep a little longer. Alan leaves for work, so we get started with the day.
James already has a poopy diaper, so I change him.
Zoey needs to poop, so I go walk her.
Start reading potty training book that Mallory gave me – which is really great and reminds me that I’m not actually ready to start potty training yet. Insert guilt and anxiety here.
Thomas wakes up. Feed him. While trying to burp, he has a coughing fit (still trying to work out the last bit of mucous from having a cold) and throws up epically all over me.
Start a bath for Thomas.
Strip off my barf-covered top, and bathe the baby.
Get him bundled in a towel, walk across the house to grab the diaper cream, and he has another coughing fit. and throws up even MORE epically all over himself and me – this time soaking my pajama bottoms.
Strip off the remainder of my pajamas, start another bath for Thomas, wipe myself off and get him cleaned off again.
Get Thomas out of the bath, successfully dressed and secured in his bouncer.
Collect the wet, dirty laundry from the bathroom. Collect the dirty sheets and blankets from the bedroom (when we realized Zoey had an accident on the bed last night). Pile everything in front of the washer and have a mini-panic attack about the sheer volume of laundry that has suddenly appeared.
James asks for breakfast. Make oatmeal for him and me.
While making oatmeal, realize that the trash can is full. Bag up trash, set it by front door and put new bag in the trashcan.
Actually sit and eat my oatmeal.
Thomas starts fussing. Needs to be fed, then go down for a nap. While doing this, realize that James needs another change.
Once Thomas laid down, get James changed again. Start another movie for James to watch WITH NO SHAME.
Collect dishes from around the house. Get load of dishes in dishwasher and start the dishwasher.
Move loads of laundry.
Decide to write everything down that’s happened this morning as a reminder to my future self – the self that wants to berate me for “not doing anything” or “not contributing”.
I’m a badass. Whether it’s me or Alan who had stayed home - this series of events would have been the same. We’re all badasses. And it’s another reminder that NO FREAKING WONDER it takes me/us 3x longer to do things than I initially anticipate.
Now – this badass has just realized she’s done the last 2 hours’ worth of chores/events completely unclothed. There just hasn’t been a second to find clothes… which means this is a great time to go take a shower.