Love Your Spouse: Day 7

Day 7: Birth of Thomas – November 2015

I’ve always known Alan was strong. In ways I still can’t even comprehend. When we found out we were expecting Thomas, we both looked forward to a birth experience we were hoping for – natural, unmedicated, in a birth center setting. This time around, we felt confident that we could do this birth “on our own” by which I mean that we didn’t hire a doula or have my mom in the room. There was us, and our birth team (midwife, nurse, and yes – photographer). And my goodness, I’m glad Alan was there. If I was to share with you all of the images from this birth – there is one constant: Alan, tirelessly supporting me. The top image here speaks to me – there was nothing to do but wait as Thomas and my body worked together toward a common goal. The midwife and nurse waited quietly and patiently while Alan talked to me, held me, encouraged me, and singularly focused on me. He’s incredible. My mind still struggles to wrap around the fact that we have these two incredible children – but it all comes back to the bond we share with each other. Alan, thank you for sharing your strength with me. For helping me get through the perceived-impossible. 

. . . . . 

I’m celebrating this incredible phase we’re in. For so long, I wondered and dreamed and wished and hoped to find a person that I could share my life with. Doodles and notes in high school were consumed by the topic. Hours of phone conversations – millions of texts, I’m sure – hundreds of journal pages. Not only if and when and who I would find… but would we have children? Where would we live? What would we do together?

Suddenly, I find myself on the other side. (Maybe not “suddenly”, it’s been years after all. It just hits me suddenly, I suppose.)

I found my person. We’re learning and growing together. We’ve created and welcomed these two small people into our family, and we are challenged and privileged to help them grow up to be the best versions of themselves that they can be – while we are still trying to grow up to be the best versions of ourselves we can be. We’ve bought our house to put down our roots and put up our photographs and create our memories and practice our traditions and live our lives.  

Crazily, I have everything my younger self hoped for. It’s astonishing and humbling and nuts and joyous. So even while we’re in the middle of everything, it almost feels like a new start. We’re leaving one chapter, and starting anew.

So, Alan. I want to remind you:

I, Alex, take you, Alan, to be no other than yourself.
Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know,
I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me,
through all our years, and in all that life may bring us.
I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help.
I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.

Happy anniversary, my love.


  1. Sweet friend. I am seriously balling right now. Life is messy and unpredictable and beautiful all at the same time and you have sincerely captured it not only in your words, but in your photos and Facebook posts. Thank you for your vulnerability, honesty and truth. So thankful for you.


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